I appreciate the support and honesty in the comments from my blog yesterday.
I just want to do this follow-up to make sure that I make myself clear. It may have sounded like I was making excuses for myself in the blog. I definitely did not intend it that way. The point I was trying to make was that everyone has their own issues they are dealing with, and noone but themselves can know what those are or how hard they are for that particular person and we shouldn't judge or assume.
Is it just as hard for someone 10 pounds overweight to lose a pound as it is for someone 150 pounds overweight? I would say it's probably harder. I'm not saying that everyone doesn't have issues and that everyone doesn't struggle with weight, whether it be losing it or gaining it, at some point or another. To assume that someone got to be so overweight just because of a lack of self-control is, in my opinion, misguided and judgemental. Some people have better control over what they eat, but have issues in other areas of their lives that are not so visible. It's all a matter of how we deal with stress and loss and life in general, and in my case, I tend to deal with it by overeating. Others deal with it in other ways, whether healthy or not healthy. We all have problems in life and it's never easy for anyone, but the area of weight IS harder for some than others. If it wasn't, then noone would be overweight or anorexic. I can honestly say that I do not enjoy being obese. I hate it. I hate it with a passion and it effects every aspect of my life. I don't think anyone makes a conscious choice to be overweight, but it happens as life happens and people shouldn't look down on others because they are struggling with obesity. It happens. I know it does. I've experienced it many times and it hurts and only makes dealing with it harder. It sounds really simple to make changes and choose healthier things, but it can be much harder than it sounds, as most of my MFP friends can attest to.
I know I have the power within me to change and get to a healthy weight. I will do that, but I have to deal with the underlying issues to make a permanent change. I am going to be starting to see a counselor, which I am hopeful will help me recognize some of my issues and find ways to deal with them in a healthier way. Now, people may call me "mental" because I need to see a counselor. Whatever. I don't really care what people think that much anymore. I'm becoming sort of apathetic to other's opinions of me, and maybe that's partly the depression. I've got plenty of excuses if I wanted to just make excuses and not try to change. I found out today that my sister has ovarian cancer. Isn't that just a kick in the pants. I know that this would be hard for anyone, but having my mother die of cancer when I was 14 years old and my MIL die of cancer over the summer makes it even harder to deal with for me in particular. Not an excuse. Just a statement of fact as to what is going on in my life. If I don't recognize what is hard and what causes me to self-medicate with food, then I can't really beat it, now can I.
Thanks again for your comments. I have the greatest MFP friends in the world!
Susan
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