308.4 Down a little!

I'll take it! I am hoping for an average of about 2 pounds a week, so hopefully I can keep things in check better this week and lose 3 next week. I'm not complaining. I'll definitely take it!

I took my measurements the other day, so I'll keep you updated on inches lost from now on, as well. I'm going to measure once a month, around the 5th of the month.

I still need to take this month's progress picture. My Dad's been in the hospital and was transferred to ICU yesterday morning, so it's been ponytail and no makeup every day to try and keep up. I'm going to a Valentine's dance with my handsome hubby on Saturday night. Maybe I'll get a picture in my duds on Sat.

I've really had to make some conscious choices about not eating when I get stressed out. It's my biggest weakness. It's how I've always dealt with stress. The first time I really remember using food to deal with stress is when I was 14 years old. My Mom was diagnosed with cancer, and before long we realized that it was terminal. It was the hardest time of my life. I used to babysit two boys in my neighborhood all day during the summer. One day their mom had a loaf of homemade lemon poppyseed bread in the fridge that a friend had given her. She told me to please have some, and I did. Oh, I did. A little piece here and a little piece there. When she came home and there was only a small piece left, she got upset at her oldest boy for eating so much of it, and I had to admit that I had eaten it. It was mortifying. But somehow, that didn't stop me.

It's like I try to fill the emptyness inside by filling my stomach to overflowing. Somehow, it seems to numb the pain a little. It's very temporary, and brings more emptyness and pain right with it, so I know it's not the solution. It happens so subconsciously now, that I really have to STOP and think about why I am eating sometimes. I'm getting better. The other day, after being very stressed about things, I felt like eating and did Wii Fit boxing instead. Yesterday, I went and played basketball rather than sit at home and eat and worry about my dad. This week has been stressful, and I haven't done as well as I would have liked, but I won a lot more of the battles than I lost, and that's a huge victory in itself.